"You need to "worm" that kitten!"...she

[oldfart]

Well now folks first off let me give a tip-o-the-hat to Greg for the thought of shoveling up a few of the kitty-bisquits laying around here at The Homeplace and tossing them into the new litter-box in the hope that C.D. (Chubba-Dubba) would take the hint and use it for it's intended purpose... instead of a sleeping area. Yet another excellent idea!! Not heeded much by this wurfless feral furball...but none-the-less an excellent idea. HARRUMPH! I spent 2 days wandering around with my tongs picking up "tootsie-rolls" and depositing them in the litter-box. This past Friday Carol stopped to visit and the first thing she said was.."You need to "worm" that kitten!" Apparently when a kittens girth FAAAAAAR exceeds its length the next recourse is to give it "worm-pills" to correct the situation. O.K....bought the "worm-pills"..followed the directions. Mix one (1) capsule in a small bit of food and don't give the kitten anything else to eat until they eat it all. O.K....did that. Held back C.D.'s food for 20 minutes at which point he's climbing up my leg and meowing for something to eat....then 'guv him the pill wrapped up in a whole chicken...he ate it..bones and all. Not my leg..the ENTIRE chicken! With the "worm-pill" I might add. Then I sat back and watched. I knew something was about to happen...had a reasonable idea what it was..but just had to sit back and see....! And then..it happened! Ohhh yes...lots more to come! Audie..the Oldfart...

[oldfart]

Folks....I have a good idea of how "worm-pills" work in felines and other pets. They don't actually kill the parasite..what they do is e-vacuate them from the entire digestive tract. It is (how do I say this politely)...by violently discharging them from the system. Anyone who has ever undergone a colonostomy know eggs-akkerry what I'm talking about. But we're talking about a 1lb. kitten..right? How much could POSSIBLY be involved in this little cat? A human (150lbs....on average...I don't know who ever thought of a 150lb. human as average...) has roughly 38ft. of bowels. Hmmmm..? My research has shown the average 150lb. human has 20lbs. of....."stuff" that needs to be evacuated in order for the digestive tract to be clear. And I can prove that!! I've got photos that show an entire mans digestive tract devoid of ANYTHING and the....."passage" is a clear as a length of p.v.c. pipe!!! Mind ye I'm talking shiny-bright-clear-as-GLASS photos!! Now..where was I? Ohh yes..back to the cat. Audie...more to come...

[oldfart]

Well folks..there I was. Perched on the edge of my recliner...a beer in one hand and a shovel in t'other. I'd dressed in old clothes..an apron and goggles. Folks....I been there..done that! Yepper...I knew what he/she was goin' thru!! I crouched down and watched fer some response..1 minute passed...2 minutes...nuthin'! Then that kitten rolled his eyeballs and begin to growl..an I knew.... it was comin'!! Mind ye...I thought I was prepared!!! PHOOOOMMM! INCOMING!!!! DUCK!!!! GOOOOSH! Folks it looked like a furry little S.C.U.D missle! A tiny hairball of a kitten bouncing off the walls and layin' down a trail of..ummmmm...stuff! PHOOM!.....off the ceiling....WHACK!..off the television....PING!...off the 'fridge! I rekkin' I did puddy well. Don't know how the kitten has made out so far...ain't seen hide ner hair of him in the past 2 hours. Last I recall he was dangling off the kitchen curtains...grittin' his little teeth. Gott'a run.....I see a "smoke-trail'!! Audie...the Oldfart...