Wurfless cats....I got 'em!
Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007 12:07 pm
Folks, Mz. Yanita asked about a wurfless cat that showed up on my doorstep some time back and it prompted me to write this. The cat in question is Fearless. A non-denominational cross-breed of indeterminate heritage. He's large fuzzy and grey. That's as best I can describe him. And... the moment... I'm up to my eyeballs in wurfless feral cats!! I counted 11 at one time. Now mind ya..I don't care for 'em..I just tolerate 'em! And I believe I may have the record for the "Most, Most-Wurfless Cats Award." For the longest time my neighbors thought I had them ceramic cat statues on my porch handrails. "Nope!...I assured them...they all all quite alive..it's just that they don't actually move much!" (Of course it was about that moment when one fell off the rail and toppled into the flowerbed/litterbox.) "Not to worry!..I said..that one just got too lazy to breathe..she'll be just fine in a moment!" And in about an hour she recovered and slooowly crawled back up onto the railing. (sighhh...) One neighbor asked.."Do they catch mice?" "HAW!HAW!HAW!HAW! ...I laughed! "That would actually involve getting vertical long enough to move and it'd probably give any one of them a heart attack!"...I hollered! Actually they look like fat fuzzy gargoyles on the railing. All lollygagging around just watching to see when the food dishes get filled and then thumping down from their collective perches to inhale ANOTHER 18lb. bag of cat food! (big sighhhh here..) Why... t'other day I was slow filling up the hog-troughs..ohhhh...I mean cat-food dishes..and 2 of them tried to come thru the (36in. wide) front door and they got STUCK! Yeah..their heads got thru..but the rest of their bodies wouldn't make it.... side-by-side! Just do the math on that once! Dadgummed wurfless good fer nothing felines are gonna eat me out of house and home. I'm ready to install a silo and just call Purina to send a truck out every week!! And they like to climb the pine trees out yonder and get up on the roof! Ya'll ever heard 11 overweight feral cats...waddeling end-fer-end on yer roof? It's like living under a bowling alley! Don't know how the rafters take it. Don't know how the pine trees take it! Well, gott'a run. Something dark just fell past the window..might be a cat or could be the top off my chimney! Audie..the Oldfart....